If you had a chance to travel back in time and asked me what I want to be when I grow up, there’s a strong chance that my answer would be “I want to be a mom.” I’ve always known that this was the path I was called to, but the details of my dreams were different. I never thought to dream of working for myself (not even on my radar,) I never (ever, ever, ever,) thought I would end up in the South, (seriously, never, ever,😆) yet, here I am.
But today…today was another day from my dreams. To anyone else, it would be completely forgetful, but to me, I am praying I remember the moment and joy of the day always. What was it that was so special? Watching Henry intentionally put his snacks into a bowl, one by one, and then take them out to do it all over again. He was so focused and careful, and with each piece, he would look up to see if I was looking. I cheered and clapped with each successful sorting like no one has ever sorted anything so well, and with a look of pride, he would smile his full-mouth smile and bring his hands clasped to his chest under his chin. He was proud of himself and looked to me for affirmation, and I was there to give it to him. I felt, and feel, so honored.
After this, James and I decided we were going to walk the kids down to the brand new park in their wagon after Camille’s nap. (Camille was the very first kid to play on the playground earlier today. She approves!) I told Henry we needed to change his diaper, put on his socks, pants, and shoes, and then we could go. If you have ever been privileged enough to change Henry’s diaper, you know that it is an amazing workout, as well as elite training for alligator wrestling. It almost always ends in some tears (not always from Henry. ha!) I was pleasantly surprised when he obediently stayed still and changing his diaper was nearly effortless. It was time to finish getting dressed, so we sat on the floor with him in my lap. Now, here were the wiggles I expected. I only got through one shoe before he squirmed, rolled, and wiggled his way out of my arms and walked to my bedroom door. He insisted on going in and I was left thinking “Oh, boy. What will he get into now…” but instead of getting into any trouble or things he should not have, he came back out grinning from ear to ear and holding his other shoe! Our observant little man realized I had dropped one of his shoes when I didn’t and was on a mission to bring it to me to put on his other foot. He was ready to go play at the park! With how wild Henry can be, and I mean, WILD, I sometimes underestimate his comprehension of everything around him. Proud mama moment for sure!
The cherry on top of these sweet moments was the actual trip to the park. Both kids were squealing with joy over the slides, merry-go-round, and swings. I love seeing the world through their eyes and these Rutter babies were like the king and queen of the world with the wind in their hair and the sun shining down as they played. (The funny thing is, I was walking the merry-go-round around in the circle and we were there for 20 minutes. Based on their reactions it was like they were zooming full speed and we played all day! 😉 ) On the walk home, Henry leaned across the wagon several times and gave Camille a hug and then she gave him a kiss which he reciprocated. MELT. MY. HEART.
So, like I said, if you’re reading this, there’s a solid chance you don’t think much of it as is, and even if you think it’s sweet, you’ll likely forget about it down the road. To me? This is what life is about. This is what I dreamt of. The love and joy personified in my family. In these beautiful, sweet souls I have been gifted to raise along with my husband. I am so, so grateful for all the ‘yes’ moments that brought me here. Our life is not perfect (as no ones is,) but today is a day I am praising God for bringing me to the road less traveled. Thanking Him that my life is different than I dreamed it would be because it is better. It meant that I got to be my son’s biggest cheerleader today, that I was able to be awed and surprised by him, and that James and I got to witness such innocent love that I pray will last a lifetime between these two built-in-best-friends. Thank you, Lord, for this day! Psalm 118: 24